Some children grab the treat the moment he's out of the door. Some last a few minutes before they give in, but others are determined to wait. They cover their eyes, they put their heads down, they sing to themselves, they try to play games or even fall asleep. When the researcher returns, he gives these children their sweets, and then, science waits for them to grow up.
By the time the children reach high school, something remarkable has happened. A survey of the children's parents and teachers found that those who as four-year-olds were strong-minded enough to hold out for the second sweet generally grew up to be better adjusted, more popular, adventurous, confident and dependable teenagers. The children who gave in to temptation early on were more likely to be lonely, easily frustrated and stubborn.
When we think of brilliance, we see Einstein - deep-eyed, woolly-haired, a thinking machine. High achievers, we imagine, were born for greatness, but then you have to wonder why, over time, natural talent seems to flower in some, yet disappear in others. This is where the sweets come in. The ability to defer gratification is a master skill, a triumph of the reasoning brain over the impulsive one. It is a sign, in short, of emotional intelligence. And it doesn't show up on an IQ test.
Brain power as measured by IQ actually matters less than qualities of mind like understanding one's own feelings, empathy - being sensitive to other people's feelings - and the ability to manage your own emotions. EQ is not the opposite to IQ. What researchers are trying to understand is how they complement each other. Among the ingredients for success, researchers now generally agree that IQ counts for about twenty-percent: the rest depends on everything from luck to social class ... and emotional intelligence. In the business world, according to personnel executives, IQ gets you a job, but EQ gets you promotion.
0 comments:
Post a Comment